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Mind F**K- Feels good to finally write

Mind Fuck

You, you sit there with your small mind and your big plans, I watch ... your cracked lips and nicotine stained fingers, smile inside my head of what you think you are and what you have become. Hit my cigarette and see  the haze of smoke circle around the thoughts in my mind, clouding your vision not mine . I touch my face and feel the posion rush though your veins. My eyes are dark, watching, haunted, wanting to hate.  I hide them, you can't see inside me , look into my eyes, look into me, what do you see? A smile plays upon my lips because my eyes are a place not many have seen, you have to want  to know...no one does....A hypocrite, scared and alone, do you wanna know? Do you?   It's all a mind fuck game, thought, action, circumstance....So small in this vast universe does anyone notice ..does anyone care?! 

M. Gauden 10/09/07

 
I LOVE YOU DUFF!!



Bored and cant sleep

You Are 20% Phobic

Wow, you're scared of very little. And you're always conquering new fears that come up.
Have you considered a career as a stunt double? You should at least go on one of those crazy reality shows where you eat bugs!


It's 60% Love and 40% Lust

You and your guy are hot for one another, but you've also got a bit of a love thing going on.


You Are a Ghost

Mysterious, independent, and often unseen - you always do things your own way.
You are introverted, shy, and even a little secretive.
People are dying to know you better, but you're a difficult person to know.
A lot of your contributions to the world are left invisible and unfelt.

Your greatest power: Blending in really well

Your greatest weakness: Being too passive

You play well with: Witches


You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul


Your Lust Quotient: 55%

You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it.
Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!


What You Know About Your Guy: Practically Everything

You have gotten to know your man really well
From his hopes and dreams to favorite things...
You definitely have enough info to figure out if he's *the* guy
In fact, you may know him a little better than you know yourself
What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're very preoccupied with your fears and problems.

These bad dreams indicate that you need to spend more time on your issues during the day.

Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities.

Your dreams indicate that you have very conflicted feelings.

You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.

You secretly want to hide your dreams from your waking mind.



You Are 64% Good

You are a good person. You do the best you can to be ethical, fair, and moral.
And as you know, being a good person means making hard decisions... and following them through.
If you're confronted with an ethical dilemma, you will usually do the right thing.
Of course you do slip up. No one's perfect. But you do your best to correct your missteps.

You are also probably: incredibly honest, especially with yourself

Right now you are on track to being: A respected leader

To be a better person: Be kind to someone who is not very kind to you



You Are 52% Bipolar

You're a bit moody, and at times, your moods can be a bit extreme.
It's up to you to decide if you're simply dramatic... or slightly bipolar.



You Are a Little Scary

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaa So not me




Halloween Horoscope for Virgo

Eh, Halloween is not exactly you favorite holiday.
You costume is usually pretty simple - if it exists at all.

Costume suggestions: A scary mask or whatever you wore last year

Signature Halloween candy: Tootsie Pops

Scary movie you should celebrate Halloween with: The Exorcist

You Are a Ghost

Mysterious, independent, and often unseen - you always do things your own way.
You are introverted, shy, and even a little secretive.
People are dying to know you better, but you're a difficult person to know.
A lot of your contributions to the world are left invisible and unfelt.

Your greatest power: Blending in really well

Your greatest weakness: Being too passive

You play well with: Witches




Things are just really going downhill latley, I find myself getting so depressed anymore and seem to cry so much
The stress from losing my mom is REALLY hitting me, also i went to the Dr about my knee surgery and its not better, in fact it worse, I have had this injury since Oct 15th , my first Dr did nothing so i got a 2nd opinion, (MONTHS LATER)well i needed surgery, and now i need more, i may need a metal plate in my knee or bone taken from someplace else and added in my knee, I also have to go to PT 2-3 times a week and its making my back hurt more...

And my family, my brother especially, whats wrong with him?? Its totlly fine to party every freakin night, forget the wife and kids he LEFT in Texas, and live with someone under 10 yrs younger then him, talk about geting a full sleeve tattoo and new car, but hey dont worry about all moms bills, I got em'!  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
ALL I WANT is to get on with my life, to be who I used to be, where the hell is that person??
I NEED to find her again........