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Things are just really going downhill latley, I find myself getting so depressed anymore and seem to cry so much
The stress from losing my mom is REALLY hitting me, also i went to the Dr about my knee surgery and its not better, in fact it worse, I have had this injury since Oct 15th , my first Dr did nothing so i got a 2nd opinion, (MONTHS LATER)well i needed surgery, and now i need more, i may need a metal plate in my knee or bone taken from someplace else and added in my knee, I also have to go to PT 2-3 times a week and its making my back hurt more...

And my family, my brother especially, whats wrong with him?? Its totlly fine to party every freakin night, forget the wife and kids he LEFT in Texas, and live with someone under 10 yrs younger then him, talk about geting a full sleeve tattoo and new car, but hey dont worry about all moms bills, I got em'!  GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
ALL I WANT is to get on with my life, to be who I used to be, where the hell is that person??
I NEED to find her again........


Jun. 6th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)
Re: I love you
I just dont get things, I never will, I feel like a drama queen but these things are real and not things i brought on myself, look at what the dr told me yesterday, basically i CANT fuckin live!! And I wont do it, i will stop doing some of the things we talked about like softball....and i know i should quit the Dept. but I cant ....Its my out right now, my escape, a way to be around other people

I AM a strong person....I finally learned that with mom, with her passing it did teach me some good things....and i guess when you loose someone, you should get something good from it, its just taken me a very long time to figure that out, I was just sitting here thinking about mom again.....and about us, so many things, it would take me forever to write it all, just know that I love you and I do listen even when you think Im not and I thank you for being in my life and standing by me always

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November 2007

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